I remember going to open markets and being grabbed when I was 18. I remember getting upset and speaking up only to be told that I will make the situation worse. So basically if you defend yourself or speak up against someone they can do something worse to you so women stay quiet.
Didn’t live there long enough
Not being able to fully express myself
Having to be covered head to toe for safety reasons and can’t go out alone, internalized misogyny in the culture - mothers have learned it and raise their kids in the same way. Not given the same opportunities as other males in the house.
Lack of safe public transport
Lack of harrassment reporting systems
Sense of insecurity walking on the streets
The pressure of balancing family life with work life. Pakistani culture never favors a woman who tries to balance both
Being cat called by a rickshaw driver
Men staring, poking, touching inappropriately while passing even in public places
Too many questions regarding pregnancy, too many statements regarding baby being underweight
Staring by men. Feeling unsafe in public transport.
There is this template of a "good Pakistani girl" or a "good desi girl" that a lot of women are expected to follow and it includes having your family be your first priority and your own ambitions and desires be the last. The strange thing is that even if you aren't doing anything "bad" you can still not be considered a good pakistani girl. For instance if a girl expressed that she wants to live in a completely different place from her family and a lot of people would question her almost as if its wrong. For a lot of Pakistani people they have this set way of how you should live your life and any deviations from that are seen as a form of rebellion. Often women are seen as children that need to be guided in terms of what they can and can't do with their lives but also to act like an adult by being a wife in training. This dichotomy is troubling because it's basically saying you have the responsibility to act like a grow woman but you are expected to be obedient like a child who doesn't know any better.
I have friends who have tried to have conversations with their parents about what they are thinking and its been ineffective because people are simply not willing to listen to Pakistani women on how she wants to live her life. Especially an unmarried Pakistani woman because in many older people's eyes they dont have any merit to have a voice or make their own decisions.
Coming from the USA and visiting Pakistan, I would experience mainly odd stares and women commenting on my body openly.
Yes, Every time there was a chance for men to portray their true selves. Countless times, during interviews, shopping, working etc
Verbal abuse, discrimination, bias
Harassment
I could never step out of the house alone
So far have not been through such situation.
Not being able to go out late by myself.
Bias, harassment
Abuse and bias
not yet , but yes can’t drive alone at late night.
Being stared at, having to cover my whole body in public, not being able to go alone anywhere, having to have someone close to me at all times
In Pakistan, I am constantly subjected to intense stares from men that make me so uncomfortable and dirty. To LESSEN the states, I make sure to never wear makeup and to wear baggy clothes with a shawl wrapped around me.
Politics at basic teaching levels
Unfortunately I have experienced all three: Bias, Abuse and Harassment. From being stared down with disgusting, frustrated eyes, no matter how covered you are, to being touched inappropriately if you walked down a crowded street or even when you went to your tailor for a fitting had become part of the norm. As a women you are always told to cover up, look down, stay quiet and stay alert, creating a fear within you as you grew up to expect the rule and will of men to run wild. I observed how women always ran amuck making sure their men were served and comfortable. You knew without even being told that men had the upper hand. Being raised in a household where my dad wanted me to have a voice as a woman, the contrast was very stark when I stepped outside my house. Even though I was given a very good education, I sensed a bias when compared to my brother as it was imperative for him to get the best as he was expected to run a household and be in charge, while I was expected to get educated, marry well and have kids. While my brother was sent abroad to study, I had to choose something within a driving distance so that I can be dropped and picked up. Why? Because what would my uncles think? What would the society think?
Nothing
There’s nothing.
Luckily I haven't experience any of it.
Groping in public buses, markets. Flashing while passing. Making kissing faces.
Harassment. In a public bus.
Harassment and Bias
Harassment, I was once stalked around a theme park by a man for nearly 30 minutes until he got bored and left.
Harassment.
Have been catcalled multiple times.
Continuous harassment and treating women like objects
Harrassment, cat calling and men intentionally pass near you and close enough that their hands touch you
Bias and sexism
My tuition teacher used to stare at me a lot and talk weirdly with me . I was hesitant to tell my parents but it was affecting my studies as well and I never wanted to study with him. Later I told my parents as I couldn't take it no more and my parents fired him at once.
Limited transport options, cat calling, uncomfortable stares when out on the streets, being touched without consent, not being taken seriously. Once I went to a mechanic who refused to talk to me or fix my car till I came with a male guardian.
Working women are never appreciated at work and even in their houses. Men think that they deserve to stay home and take care of house chores and kids only...I was labeled as "Badmash aurat", "chalu aurat" by a male member of my in-laws. Despite the fact that he belonged to a very modern family with all that shit in his brain.
Harassment at work, sometimes on streets when traveling alone through public transport
Bias, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, harassment, judgment, taunts and faced stereotypes
Biased norms
Bias.....
Harassment
The idea that a woman's salary does not belong to her, that mehr was just a formality for filling up the nikah nama, that bahu is responsible for the house, even if the mother-in-law and sister-in-laws are sitting idle, that being a woman I can't be a good head of department and that I don't need to be paid that much, or that I can do more amount of work so I should be burdened on it, that it's easy to intimidate me or make changes in my job description because being a woman I will be reluctant to speak up.
Harassment!
Nothing in particular
Abuse and harrassment by my own family members
Bias.
Sexual assault. Multiple times. By a friend and a family member. Discriminated at workplace for smoking because I'm a girl.
Being policed on what I choose to wear as it isn't covering enough
Sexual Harassment in public places such as malls
Everything. On multiple occasions my bus driver would try and touch me inappropriately. He would insist I sit in the passenger seat and would drop me home after dropping everyone else. A lot of times I gave him money considering he needed it from my own pocket money so he could keep his hands off me.
Abuse
Body shaming
Bias
None
There have been many but I’ll mention a few. I was out having dinner with family this one time there was a group of grown men sitting at the table in front of us, I caught two of them looking at me but I ignored and kept talking to my sister, few minutes later my mum tells me to go outside and she’s really pissed, I look back at those guys and I see their phone pointed towards me, clearly they were taking a picture or video of me. Oh and I was wearing an abaya jbtw.
Another time I went on a drive with my sisters, they were sitting in the back talking and our driver was in the passenger's seat (me and my sisters aren’t allowed to drive without him fsr) anyway I notice him looking at my legs but I ignore it obviously but then he grabs my hand and just keeps his hand rested on top of mine for a few seconds and then he slides his hand off. I don’t know if this counts as any form of harassment but it made me really uncomfortable and angry. I froze and I didn’t know what to do or say. I stopped going on drives after that because he’s the only person I could drive with and I didn’t know how to tell my dad because I was afraid he’d tell me it wasn’t a big deal or if he’d get mad at me instead
Mental Abuse, Grooming, Peer Pressure as a young impressionable girl to send explicit photos to prove “trust”
Emotional abuse.
All of it in one way or the other.
I haven’t personally faced bias, but I have faced the general constraints that women have to face in our society e.g safety concerns, not going out as much. I’ve also received unwanted “wrong number” texts and calls from men, which I think every woman in Pakistan has certainly faced.
Harassment.
Harassment
Bias and harassment both.
It starts from men continuously undermining my ability to drive or park my car to following me on their bikes. I have lost count of the number of times I've been forced to take different and longer routes to my house.
I can not have fuel filled in my car from several petrol stations as they employ workers that have harassed me in the past.
Emotional abuse, and sexual harassment. As a kid I was groped from behind by a man in the family market. As an adult woman my fiancé manipulated, gaslighted me and emotionally abused me.
Harassment
So many of men from my extended family don't want to see me work and earning. And used to question my mother for that. "Why is she earning; are you using her money in your expenses?" They even tried to stop my education but my mom was a great support. Even shame my father by saying "Beti k pese khata hai" My father is retired officer. He worked throughout his life just for us.
One particular incident is engraved in my memory of a grown man almost raping me in cricket stadium's bathroom. Allah saved me that day otherwise something horrible could have happened. I was hardly 11 back then.
Bias, abuse, harassment all three.
Patriarchy
Discrimination and neglect towards myself for being a female child. While male child is always the one most cared for.
Gender bias at university and work, sexual harassment at work and outdoors
Harassment in marketplaces
Bias, harrassment.
Sexual harassment when I attended a jalsa of a political party.
Harassment, biasness, favoritism
Harassment so many times in public places
Abuse
All of it in one way or the other
Harassment/ Making you feel uncomfortable in public places
Bias behaviors for sure. Esp after marriages. I know one working mother who was declared redundant when resumed office after maternity leaves as during her 3 months leaves, her position was given to someone else.
Emotional abuse
All aforementioned! They are uncountable. Can't put them in words.
When I reached adolescence I encountered harassment from my quran teacher, when I got married I was merely a maid's supervisor nothing more than that.
Being poked in the back in public buses when I used to go to university.
I wasnt well aware why people do it. But as I have aged I still am n it able to understand the sickness of their mind.
We need to educate our masses.
Being touched on the bus by the driver and passengers, being touched in bazaars, being kicked in Sunday bazaars.
As one of four girls, I always felt inferior because people kept on telling my mom “Allah beta Dey.” Or “Beti hai kiya kerna itna parha ker.” It was as if we were not good enough. My parents never made us feel that way but it was people around who made comments to our girls down.
We were three sisters no brothers. Not only us but our parents were taunted for having no heir. Anyways long story short my parents gave us freedom and empowered us to be what we wanted and now all of us are successful in our lives
Fat shaming, being unmarried and past the acceptable “age”
Harassment, multiple times as a medical student/house doctor on rounds in a government hospital male wards
Share in property rights
None
It had become a norm when you travel in public transport or walk in bazaars, men did not leave any opportunity to touch you, especially caressing your bum. As a girl, it used to make me sick down the core. And I don't think there is any female who had not been touched like this in markets or public transports
Must keep head low in public
Abuse
Biasness. Its always the case of not being able to do something so minor because I'm a women.